Audience Feedback on Draft 4

I asked a group of people to watch the forth draft of my short film to see what comments they had. Here is the feedback I received:

• I liked all of it
• It looked professional
• The texting looked good because you could tell who was saying what
• The lighting is really effective
• The acting is good
• The face over the top of the text scene is really effective
• The flashback works really well

At the same time my teacher was watching and these were the comments she gave: 

• I like the close up of the feet as she walks around the corner
• I like the way her loneliness is highlighted by the time of year
• I think the music you have chosen compliments the piece well
• I think the shadow of Emily's face works  really well
• The timing of the music is spot on - when Emily appears it stops etc.
• I like the way the focus changes to Emily when she is trying to say sorry
• I like the way the texts get bigger as if more desperate in the second text scene
• The lip syncing works really well in the conversation scene
• I like the change to jolly music at the end

Main Task - Short Film - Draft 4

In this draft I have changed the font and text technique on the title page so that it now looks more like a conventional silent film title page or inter-title. I have done this because I wanted my film to reference an original silent film whilst still keeping the modern twists I have added.

Main Task - Short Film - Draft 3

This is the almost completed version of my short film. 

I have decided to change the name to 'Stick Up for Me' because the two characters weren't really 'Penfriends' any more due to the plot changes. I feel that 'Stick Up For Me' is more suitable.

I am now going to add the finishing touches by refining the fonts I use and adding some more title screens etc.

Main Task - Short Film - Draft 2

This is my second draft of my short film. As you can see I have now added music but there are still some parts I need to edit.

Firstly, in the first walking part I need to neaten up my editing as Kyra sometimes retraces her steps when the angle changes.

Secondly, I need to make Emily's silhouette clearer as several people have commented that she looks like a man which defies my reasons for adding it in the first place. Also, one comment I got was that it isn't clear they are meeting for the first time so I'm going  to change the texts to make this more explcit.

Finally, I found that my happy piece of music didn't fit with the music I have used for the rest of the film so I have found a possible replacement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5aZQw8449c

I have decided to use guitar music because when trying out other options guitar ones sounded better than piano.

Editing Log - Entry 3

Footage Layering

I have now edited Chloe's silhouette over 'text scene 1' to eliminate any confusion this could have caused with regard to the identity of Lauren's friend.

I have done this by layering footage of Chloe on top of the footage of Lauren texting and then altering the saturation to make it a silhouette.

Music

I have also been looking to music I could use to convey different moods as this is a key part of making my film understandable. Here are my favourite examples of the ones I looked at.

Sad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_Am4cHMBKM

This piece is a sad song that I think will be good for the opening scene and the scenes where Lauren is blanking Chloe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9haTFoGcvk

This could be another sad piece that I could use although this may be better for the second park scene where the music doesn't have to be as sad because they make up.

Happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4kjC0jAM9U

This piece sounds relatively happy and I think it will be good to use in 'text scene 1.' I want happier music here because I want to show the transition between her being sad or annoyed in the first scene and happy to be talking to her friend in the second. I may use this piece again in the last scene where they walk into the common room together but I might choose a different piece.

Main Task - Short Film - Draft 1

 

This is my film as it stands. As you can see from watching it there are still a few sections which I would like to re-film or places where I want to add footage. I have already completed the filming for these sections and intend to edit them in in the next few weeks. There are also a few sections where I have some more editing to complete. For example, 'text scene 1' where I intend to make the gender of the person she is texting clearer by editing a translucent silhouette over the footage of the conversation. I also intend to replicate this effect on my poster.

Audience Feedback

I have also decided to get some audience feedback at this point because now is the time to find out if there is anything my audience thinks I could add.

In the questionnaire I asked questions about the areas that I don't feel I can fully judge because I am too familiar with the plot.

What are your overall impressions?

Pretty cool

I liked the flash back in the park scene
 

In scene 1 who do you look at?

The bullies and then Kyra
 

Is text scene 1 too long?

No but you don’t know who is talking.
 

How could I make it more obvious that Kyra is speaking first?

Put the names on or move the text for Kyra next to her
 

Could you understand what was going on in conversation scene?

Yes, and I liked the effect
 

Do you like the music I have chosen at the moment?

Yes